Can't have it. Won't have it.

Sometimes I feel so left out.
Not out of things I go to or do.
Everyday scenarios.
I feel as if I am sitting here watching everyone elses lives in play and mine on pause.
I'm here for everyone but no one for me.
Im invisible. But if someone wants to see me they can.
I can't help it but feel thjs way.
Having no one to say it to.
Its hard for me to deal with this.
That I can't have what they have.
I won't have what they have.
I have to be okay with that.

Control

I look in the mirror and feel so dissatisfied.
I take a look at my friends and wonder if they really are.
I look at the past, it was real.
I want to change the way I see myself but, i think it has to with how i look rather than how I view how I look.
Something must be wrong with me.
I don't have the to go to person when in need.
My mom says things will be "okay" acting as if she cares when I know thats all it is, an act.
My dad will love me no matter what. In a way thats good I can't let down.
I have no one to hold me while I cry.
It hurts inside sishing there could be someone but who?
I don't know.
There's someone out there for everyone this is true but its getting old.
There must be some better excuse.
It's me.
The way I am.
Who I am.
At times unsure.
Begging for something normal, something stable in this life.
The only things that seem to be normal are the things I create but yet somehow the other interferes.
 I can't even keep that straight.
Its me.
Its out of control.
Its out of my control.

Cant think

The first chord of the song. Makes me think of you.
Mind cant think straight it's polluted with "what ifs" "could've beens" and "whys".
Not all revolving around you but more so inner.
Never been one to have it all.
See it all.
Feel as if should feel like am it all.
Still somethings missing.
Its not you.
What is it.
I can't think.

Gone; moved on

What had was special.
Nothing I had ever felt before.
It all happened so quick; the next thing I knew you were long gone
moved on.
I can't tell whether I miss you,
or if I miss what we had together.
But one thing I can tell is when I see you with her...
I can't help but to look the other way.
I don't know if I had a second chance if I would take it
But if I could go back to that time...
That's what I really want.