Control

I look in the mirror and feel so dissatisfied.
I take a look at my friends and wonder if they really are.
I look at the past, it was real.
I want to change the way I see myself but, i think it has to with how i look rather than how I view how I look.
Something must be wrong with me.
I don't have the to go to person when in need.
My mom says things will be "okay" acting as if she cares when I know thats all it is, an act.
My dad will love me no matter what. In a way thats good I can't let down.
I have no one to hold me while I cry.
It hurts inside sishing there could be someone but who?
I don't know.
There's someone out there for everyone this is true but its getting old.
There must be some better excuse.
It's me.
The way I am.
Who I am.
At times unsure.
Begging for something normal, something stable in this life.
The only things that seem to be normal are the things I create but yet somehow the other interferes.
 I can't even keep that straight.
Its me.
Its out of control.
Its out of my control.