Never Know

I may never know why these things happen to me.
The causes?
Was it me, what could I have done?
What did I do?
Breaking down the confidence I have, or just a test for myself  to see if I am who I thought.
I may never know why you've chosen to do this to me?
To be so far in between.
So distant to say the least.
Off a cliff, it seems.
Who is at the bottom though?
Climbing my way up.
As you turn your back as if the push came from thin air.

Your way of dealing with things. Not mine.
I can only control how I deal with what is given.
Well if shit is given to me, why not make it fertilizer and spread it.

JKKKKK

I'm not thaaaaaat shallow.
only just as a puddle on this melty day.